Balance, Counterbalance, Balance Again
How often do you get frustrated by things getting thrown off balance and having to respond or react in a the moment to a adjust to life circumstances? You’re not alone, sister, I’m right there with you!
This week I had a beautiful experience in Crested Butte. I took time to rest and rejuvenate with my dogs, Mushu and Maddox, and bask in the beauty of sunshine, high alpine wildflowers, a stunning waterfall and our own private lake.
Just picture me pushing a canoe to the edge of the water, making kissy noises to get my dogs to join me. When that doesn’t work, I start calling their names and waving a treat in the air, hoping to entice them to join me on this adventure. Mushu, my ever loyal, therapy dog, tentatively gets in, totally unsure of what he’s getting himself into. Maddox doesn’t. Instead, he decides to swim alongside us as we begin gliding around the lake. Afraid he might exhaust himself as the water gets deeper (meaning I would have to jump into the freezing cold water to rescue him - uh uh, no way!), I attempt to help him scramble into the boat while he furiously kicks his back legs in the water. On the verge of capsizing the canoe, I decide it’s better to maneuver the canoe to the closest bank and allow him to crawl in from the shore.
All aboard and feeling a little giddy with the excitement of actually pulling it off, I giggle to myself as we began to serenely glide around the lake.
“Serenely” lasted only a few minutes
“Serenely” lasted only a few minutes before Maddox decided he needed a drink of water and plunged his nose dangerously low to lap up some water - completely unaware of the peril he created. Instinctively, I leaned to the left side to balance the sudden shift in weight that threatened to tip us over. In the same moment, Mushu panicked and popped up on all fours. His movement displaced our weight again, requiring me to shift the other way to counterbalance HIS movement.
Back and forth we went, Maddox continually insisting on leaning over one side or the other to get water (seriously, dude, you’re totally hydrated!!) and me having to lean opposite him to create counterbalance so we didn’t tip over. Every so often, sweet Mushu would get up on shaky legs and throw us into yet another precarious moment of almost capsizing.
Frustration started to arise in me because I wanted the picture-perfect image of gliding smoothly across the lake.
I wanted Maddox to stop doing what he was doing... yet it was totally natural and instinctual for him. How often do we get frustrated by things getting thrown off balance, of having to respond (or react) in the moment to a change in equilibrium to avoid being totally knocked over? And then get frustrated at ourselves for being frustrated? Oy! The irony.
I thought of how cognitive flexibility is a core of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and how resisting what is happening in the moment - as I was with Maddox’s antics - is the source of suffering.
Resisting what is happening in the moment is the source of suffering.
The more we can learn to balance, counterbalance and then balance again in the face of life’s challenges, the less suffering we experience. Being flexible and learning to stop protesting “what is” creates an opportunity for us to be in the present moment - and maybe even find some comedic relief. When we stop fighting against what is happening and, instead, embrace it as just a part of a series of fleeting experiences, we often find ourselves on the path to peace and equanimity.
Getting into gratitude was the tool I used in that moment. I started naming everything for which I was grateful. Being in the mountains on a private lake in a canoe WITH my dogs was an amazing gift for which I was incredibly grateful. I felt tremendous gratitude for the sun that was shining down on us, for my friend Nick coming to the dock at the perfect moment to take photos of us on the water, for the gentle breeze that kept the sun from being too hot... on and on.
As I leaned into gratitude, I felt a huge release.
As I leaned into gratitude, I felt a huge release. I accessed an ability to relax and actually enjoy leaning into the cadence of balance-counterbalance-balance as Maddox continued bouncing from side to side in the canoe in his excited quest to find the perfect gulp of water.
Learning to find flexibility can be challenging at times. Learning to trust ourselves to lean into the appropriate rhythm of balance-counterbalance-balance takes practice, patience and, often, a guide to help us move through the discomfort and uncertainty of learning how to keep the canoe of our lives afloat and not capsizing when the unexpected shi(f)t happens.
As an intuitive coach and mentor, I love to help people just like you access your equilibrium, to help you learn to navigate the precarious and unpredictable experiences left in the wake of the challenges that life throws your way. I experience so much joy in watching my clients move from struggle and resistance to grace and acceptance - and the peace and joy that comes from being in that state of flow.
Peace and joy comes from being in that state of flow.
Whether you literally want assistance in canoeing or in navigating some of life’s balance-counterbalance-balance moments, feel free to contact me HERE to schedule a time to talk about how I can support you in finding your balance.